What is DV and Intimate Partner Abuse?

• • Physical Abuse
    • Hitting
    • Choking/Strangling
    • Biting
    • Pulling Hair
    • Pushing
    • Using a weapon or other item to cause harm
  • Sexual Abuse
    • Any non consensual sexual activity
    • Rape
    • Causing harm or damage to genital areas
  • Emotional & Mental Abuse
    • Name calling
    • Gaslighting (minimizing, denying, and blaming)
    • Bullying
    • Making someone feel small, useless, stupid, unwanted, unloveable, broken
    • Intimidation
    • Using Coercion & Threats
  • Financial/Economic Abuse
    • Controlling all money
    • Requiring permission to access money
    • Preventing access to all money
    • Preventing someone from getting a job
    • Hiding money
  • Isolation
    • Preventing someone from seeing close friends and family
    • Controlling who and when someone sees others
    • Limiting engagement with the outside world
  • Social & Family Manipulation
    • Turning the person being abused against their family and friends
    • Turning family and friends against the person being abused
    • Causing guilt about how someone is parenting
    • Using the children as a means of abuse (having them deliver hurtful messages, turning them against the abused parent)
    • Threatening to take children away or cause them harm
    • Manipulation or harassment during visitations (if already separated)
    • Threatening or actually causing harm to pets
  • Technology
    • Monitoring phone usage and communication
    • Barring access to phone and/or computer
    • Tracking/stalking through phone GPS
    • Sharing damaging/defaming/sexual photos, images and videos with friends, family, coworkers, religious leaders, or on social media
    • Online harassment and bullying, and engaging others in online harassment and bullying

Other mechanisms of abuse can come into play in different situations, such as gender identity and sexual orientation, disability, immigration status and language. See additional resources below to see how additional forms of abuse when these other factors are present:

• LGBTQ
• Immigration 
• Deaf

• Many people don’t realize the potential for delayed effects of strangulation or choking. If your partner strangles or chokes you, and you feel ok, it is still important to seek immediate medical attention. “It is possible to show no symptoms after being strangled, but die weeks later because of brain damage due to lack of oxygen and other internal injuries,” National Domestic Violence Hotline.
  • Possible Immediate and Delayed Responses:
    • a sore throat
    • difficulty swallowing
    • neck pain
    • hoarseness
    • bruising on the neck or behind your ears
    • discoloration on your tongue
    • ringing in your ears
    • bloodshot eyes
    • dizziness
    • memory loss
    • drooling
    • nausea or vomiting
    • difficulty breathing
    • incontinence
    • a seizure
    • a miscarriage
    • changes in mood or personality like agitation or aggression
    • changes in sleep patterns
    • changes in vision such as blurriness or seeing double
    • fainted or lost consciousness
    • death

Healthy Relationship Quiz

Healthy relationships have:

• Trust
• Respect
• Equality
• Making decisions together
• Valuing your partner’s thoughts/feelings
• Communicating without threat or consequence
• Support
• Cooperation
• Accountability
• Safety
• Partnership

While certain behaviors don’t necessarily mean you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, below are some red flags to be aware of that could be indicators:

• Quick involvement
• Jealousy
• Outbursts of anger
• Overly critical behavior
• Possessiveness
• Blaming others for your own problems/feelings
• Cruelty to animals or children
• Unrealistic expectations
• Controlling behavior
• Isolation
• Disrespect
• Hypersensitivity
• Expecting control during sex
• Rigid sex roles
• Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde behavior
• Past battering
• Breaking/striking objects
• Using force during an argument